She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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