i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
