sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
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