How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize