The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
