um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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