If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
