i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Randomize
