he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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