Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
