She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Randomize
