dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
