yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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