Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize