so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
