Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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