Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
is that a dick in a sweater?
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
