I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
