Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
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