Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
