i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize