She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
