I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
