Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Randomize
