can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
