Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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