dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
not ubering you a puppy
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
