better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
