absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
i jhust puked up my retainher.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
