This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
