I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
