u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
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