Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Randomize
