Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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