I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
