Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
A bitchslap is in order.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
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