It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
