i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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