my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
