last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
