its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
