i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Randomize