Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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