My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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