You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
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