She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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