his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Boobs are out for the taking
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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