wat bout pragnant strippers??
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
