He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
