I like to think it a success when the cops are called
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
he fucked my hip out of place.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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