i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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