Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
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