HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
