maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Randomize
