Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
