So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
