Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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