help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
