I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
